What does depression actually feel like?
Many people who arrive here describe not sadness, exactly, but an absence. A quality of aliveness that was once available has become unreachable. They can describe what it was like to want things, to feel something coming toward them, to care about outcomes. That is gone, or so muted it cannot be found.
Some are still functioning: working, maintaining relationships, meeting obligations. From the outside they do not look depressed. From the inside, everything is happening at a distance. The person is present but not quite arrived.
What many people share is a sense that they’ve carried it for a long time, that they understand something about where it comes from, and that understanding alone hasn’t been enough to lift it.